He Does Not Set Us Aside

I think I've been mistaken.

For as long as I can recall my heart being captivated by Christ and compelled to be involved in 'missions' (His mission), I've understood it to be a sacrificial lifestyle that consists of:

-Letting go of my rights

-The laying down of my life

-Giving up my earthly desires

-Setting myself aside

But as the Lord has led our hearts gently and gracefully toward this one specific church planting work, I've discovered something that took me by surprise. I've discovered that in the midst of us uprooting our family and moving across the world to pursue people that His heart longs for, He has all the while been pursuing ME.

Now I'm sure you can relate- there are times in my life when I have felt set aside. That is a tremendously painful feeling. But as I've traveled this road of 'missions', I resigned myself to willingly set myself aside for the sake of the Gospel. And I was ok with that! I think that in my mind, I settled quite contentedly with the idea that I was setting myself aside… and that God Himself also was 'setting me aside' so that He can do His work through me as a vessel, an instrument, a tool. Now I didn't view this as a bad thing. And maybe it shouldn't be viewed as a bad thing. But I'm not convinced anymore that it is a complete picture of how He uses us. It certainly doesn't reflect how deeply He treasures us, does it?

I believe I missed something very important that Jesus said to His disciples. He said "Whoever loses his life for My sake will FIND it."

Find it? Ok. Wow. He did NOT say that 'whoever loses his life for My sake will (simply) lose it.' Maybe this 'finding' of the life we have lost for His sake points us directly back to our Father's heart. And maybe this 'finding' of our life does not mean that we have to search for it, but rather that we find out that He has already found us. We let go of our life and place it in His hands, and it is in that moment that we find it again- right there in His hands. Not on a shelf in the upper corner. Right in His hands!

This loss of life is not a place of emptiness, but a place of deepest fullness. It not a place void of feeling, but it is a place where our heart wrenches in a joyful pain at the realization of how fully He loves and treasures us each day. (I think John Mark McMillan captured this joyfully painful realization well in his song "How He Loves".) This losing of life does not mean that ours does not count any longer- now it simply counts for more than just breathing and surviving day in and day out.

I am finding that in the very losing of my life for His sake, He is not in fact setting me aside. He is not simply using me for the sake of others, to then treasure me later. No! I am His daughter, and He treasures me NOW. Today. Yes He will use me as a vessel, but more importantly He delights and sings over each one of His vessels. How can I forget the principles of His Word that I've so delighted to share with others, about the Father's longing for you and I as His children to be conformed to the image of His Son? He does not set me aside, nor does He set aside His purpose for me in this life.

I think as we have charged ahead into this lifestyle of overseas missionary work, I have forgotten that He also values ME and desires to mold and shape MY heart on a daily basis. I was ok to set myself aside. But He is not like me. And His thoughts are not my thoughts. He does not set His children aside. As I have moved forward in serving Him, He has stopped me in my tracks to remind me that He cares for me and desires to ever deepen my relationship with Himself. (After all, a hungry sheep cannot serve well. We must feast on Him so that we will have strength to serve. We must know His voice intimately, so that we can guide others to Him.)

I am overwhelmed that He does not set me aside. I was mistaken. But now I know. And my heart is glad!

And SO… as we prepare now to move into this tribe and learn the language and embrace the privilege we are being given to come alongside these believers, I have been experiencing deeper and deeper communion with Him, and am reminded afresh (yes, "afresh"…clearly I watched a British period drama recently…) that His desire for ME is the same as His desire for any other believer from any other nation- that I would love Him and know Him, and that ultimately He will conform me into the image of Christ, His dear Son, my Savior. He has purposefully marked out this specific plan for me so that He can nurture me through each and every step. And likewise for you.

What are you stepping into today? Do you feel 'set aside', whether by people, or by painful circumstances in your life? By God? Look again, into His face, into His Word. Take His hands and look into them, and find there your life, hidden in Christ! He does not set us aside.