Becoming Floral

Those who know me well know that I am, in general, a 'solid color' type of person.  I don't choose patterned garments, or stunningly eccentric tops. I don't even know how to accessorize "the right way", so I don't put much though into it.

For me, exciting is a solid white shirt with beige stripes. Or a solid black dress (or was it blue? I'll never really know I guess...) with white polka dots.

But now I have stepped into a culture where many women (especially common in the tribal locations) wear meri blauses. Noe bought me the blue one last year that you hopefully saw in a previous blog post. But since arriving, I've needed to expand my wardrobe so that I have several to cycle through each week.

And you guessed it. They're all floral. If not floral, brightly patterned. Oh-- my most recent acquisition has tribal masks on it...that's kind of 'fun'. :)

I have no complaints about my new wardrobe. The meri blauses are very comfortable. (But please don't let me wear them on furlough... come on, I'm counting on my good friends to dress me properly haha!)

But this new embracing of the floral life makes me laugh a bit. It's yet another reminder of how the ways of God are so beyond our understanding. So much bigger than our comprehension.

Since I can remember, I've been terribly afraid of spiders. And webs. (Well ok, slight bit of 'untruth' here, because I DO in fact remember sitting on our back deck as a child plucking out the legs of "Daddy Long Legs" spiders. At least at that point I could touch spiders! I'm not that brave anymore.) So where does He see fit to send and use me? Oh, just the country that boasts some of the world's largest spiders.

I also don't like hot weather. So where does He see fit to send and use me? As close to the equator as possible...

I'm also a person who is energized by being alone, and I value my quiet time. So where does He see fit to send and use me? Into a culture that values community and relationships, spending time with people constantly.

(We won't mention the food category!)

And as I began, I am a 'plain Jane', who enjoys solid colors and being in the background (until someone learns that I play the piano haha! Never fails...). So where does He see fit to send and use me? Into Floral-Ville. :)

He has a wonderful, loving sense of humor. I mean, I could look at all of this COMPLETELY negatively and say "Really, God?!" But since junior high, when I decided that my arachnophobia WOULD NOT stand in the way of me going where He would send me, I've had the opportunity to grow and develop in some of the areas that the apostle Paul addresses- particularly regarding contentment, and the ability to 'do' all things in His strength, which HE provides.

To 'do' (or we could say, to 'become') all things in Christ, who strengthens me.

When I think about "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", I know that doesn't mean, "Sure, I can jump over this significantly large canyon, because 'HE WILL STRENGTHEN MEEEEEE!" No. It means I can 'become floral', because He can strengthen me with contentment- with His joy. I can smile as our tribal house goes up next year in the midst of giant spiders, knowing that He can strengthen me with peace. And a broom. (Ha.)(?) I can laugh as sweat drips down my neck and down my shirt (oh yes, constantly!), and carry on with my day without A/C, knowing that He can strengthen me with His own love-laughter. (After all, He was a 'man of sorrows', and ALSO He was 'anointed with the oil of joy'!) He is familiar with all of my weaknesses. And He is 110% stronger than the strongest of my strengths.

Since He can so completely do that in me, the question then is my willingness.

Am I willing to lose 'myself' to become something/someone else for His sake? To lay down my rights to this or that way of life.... (in order to gain the rights to share in His glory!)? To let go of my personal or cultural values... privacy, alone time, etc...? Let's not pretend this is all easy!

But am I willing?

(And do I really trust that if I let go, that He will still be holding on? ........ )