Tunnel Vision

It is easy for me to develop tunnel vision. So dreadfully easy.

If I suddenly recognize a need (or let's face it, sometimes it's actually a want), there are times when all my mind can think about is that one perfect solution that I've so brilliantly figured out.

If I just had this, then...

If things were this way, then...

I startled myself with this reality 2 weeks ago, when I found myself injured and in need of something I did not have. (In this case I needed crutches, which was in fact a wise solution.) But as the hours and days throbbed by with no crutches, I was struck by how so much of my contentment was threatened by not having that one thing that I was sure would make all the difference.

The contentment was not taken from me, but it was threatened. For indeed, no one can rob us of that which Christ provides- we can simply choose not to experience it. My friend Jessie shared this quote some months ago which illustrates this quite well: 

"When I don't fight the battle against grumpiness well enough to win, I let the Enemy wear my face."

Not choosing to abide in Christ in my 'moments' means I'm choosing not to experience the contentment and joy He so fully and freely offers to me. And that leaves me standing on my own two feet, somehow believing that I have what it takes to 'get through this' on my own.

And I have to wonder what I am looking toward to make me whole. Is that earthly crutch for which I was so desperate going to satisfy me through and through?

'Modeling' the crutches on our x-ray
adventure at the haus sik last week.
(And a subtle "Old Navy" ad...)

 I'll tell you today that it's NOT!! It's rainy today, and after coming home from our morning class, I followed my girls into the house. Even though I was very careful since I knew they had just mopped the floor for me (since they thought it a fun idea to go "swimming" on the basketball court), one of my crutches finally hit an invisible slippery spot and my bad foot "helped" me catch myself (ouch)
. Hey, recovery is supposed to be painful anyway... Haha! 

Crutches are great!!! But crutches do not heal my foot. Crutches help me stand, but they do not teach me how to stand on my own. I must always widen my perspective, looking upward from the fading gifts of this world, to the unfading, faithful promises of Christ!

As we are searching for what church planting work The Lord would have us be a part of, one of the 'crutches' that I must learn to hold loosely is Bible translation. The Lord put it on my heart about 15 years ago to be a part of Bible translation. (!) But here's the thing- who am I.......who am I to determine just what exactly He had in mind when He gave me that desire?! 

I think we do this a lot as believers. "God told me this, therefore (this is what it should look like)." Then we can become so shocked and disappointed when things don't play out as we had so wisely mapped out. 

Perhaps He gave me the desire to be involved in Bible translation not because I would personally do it (although I would love to!), but because He wanted me to understand deeply the preciousness of His Word. Why do I limit the options for how HE will bring about HIS plans and HIS Church? He gave me gifts and desires. Sometimes we hear "He wants to use your gifts." Well frankly, He wants to use YOU. (Don't you suppose I laugh that He gave me the gift of music, particularly piano? Imagine...if I had said "well, I know there are so many unreached language groups in the world today. But He wants to use my gifts. So I cannot go into tribal church planting." Guess what? He also gave me the 'gift' of arachnophobia! Don't you see? Depending on my willingness to follow and be used of Him, I can essentially 'manipulate' whatever gifts or desires I have. And I can make them all sound spiritual and legitimate when necessary.) Desires of my heart? Ha! "The heart is deceitful above all things..."

But His heart? Trustworthy, pure, faithful, loving, and clear in His desire and plan for the world.

Ok Lord...this desire was Yours to begin with. As was the plan. Widen my perspective from the fading gifts of this world, to the unfading, faithful promises of Christ!