Brooms

I love me a good broom.

I've been under the notion that it was just myself, my husband, and my children going overseas... that I wouldn't be able to take any friends with me. Well, I realized the other day that I was very mistaken. For as the Lord, and those who know me, can testify- the 'ordinary' kitchen broom is one of my dearest friends and will most certainly be accompanying me to the jungle!

I will probably have two or three. One for my kitchen. And another one that I might very well snuggle with in bed. And maybe a third tucked away for that inevitable moment when I break the first (and second) one.

Oh-- did you think I was going to break it by sweeping the floor? :)

The other day, a friend of ours who is also heading toward the jungle shared her own spider-killing method. It involved violently throwing a magazine down on top of the beast, followed by attacking the magazine with a sandal, followed by squishing the entire concoction down through the floorboards with "long tongs" and 'asking someone else to check the carcass in the morning'. :) Highly amusing, yes! But right up my alley!

I just may have to decorate the broom I take with creativity and perhaps a calming Scripture verse... or maybe a verse about how God will one day break and shatter the teeth and bones of the wicked (see, a motivational, emboldening verse!).

Anyway, the broom also reminds me of how the daily routine can seem so incredibly mundane at times. Granted, for me, I haven't had much routine these last few years. But daily chores and housekeeping and child-wiping and discipline and...and...and... can certainly feel wearisome and thankless. I especially think of all my friends who don't have continual transitions like I do. As you walk His path for you of being a wife and mother, you are given the opportunity to be completely faithful to Him in your very important work.

Another friend of mine wrote this inspiring word just the other day:

The hardest part about being a stay at home Mama is the monotony of doing the same thing every day, knowing my work will not be evident for very long at all, and then strumming up the inspiration to do it all over again. The best part is I work with three of my favorite people in the whole world!

I hope we can all encourage one another toward love and good deeds, as He Himself encourages us to do in His Word! Maybe each time we pick up our broom we can think of and pray for one another. Maybe I will write your names on my broom handle. :) And whatever horrid creature is at the other end of that broom... may I always be faithful to Him in keeping my home to be glorifying to His Name.

The Grief of My Joys

My heart has been heavy today. That may be because of my realization that I'm becoming an emotional nutcase.

My sentiments about these next months of "last's" is getting to me. If you have ever moved from a place, you know what I am talking about.

However, not only am I preparing to move from a place, but I am preparing to move into a very different lifestyle. And not only that, but a rather harsh reality for me is that we are preparing to be gone for 4 years at a time. My children bring this to life for me, as well as other children I know and love. They will all grow and develop and mature and change tremendously. There will be life experiences in these years that I will have to observe from a distance. And for my own children, the opportunities to do various things at the age they are now is ending. When we return, they will be four years older and very different individuals with different interests.

Last Christmas, my close girlfriend flew up to Seattle to visit me. When I saw her I couldn't keep the tears back. It was because I love her dearly, yes. But it was also one of the first moments that I began to realize that the time is drawing short for visits.

The last few months have grown more difficult in that respect. You wouldn't know it outwardly, but in my heart, each time I meet with a friend, or take my kids to a play date, or visit a fun place we love... My heart both rejoices in the goodness of The Lord, and grieves a little for what will be changing.

As I enjoy this week relaxing in a beautiful place, I keep trying to push out the reality that I probably will not sit here again for several years. And I will be very different then. And so will my husband, and my children. My parents will have changed. Our friends will have experienced much. And all the precious children will be growing...too fast.

So what does a woman ask of her God when her heart is so fragile? What do YOU ask of your God when your heart aches?

I know He would have me rejoice in His unchanging presence. And find contentment in each moment He has so generously gifted me its. And I know His heart would also provide an embrace, for He does not push aside grief. Opening your heart to love and know and be real also opens your heart to the pain that accompanies it.

May I be joyful, content, teachable, real, and embraceable in the grief of my joys. :)

Frazzled?

Well, the white flag is up!

As much as I have tried to deny it and as strong as I have attempted to be, I am more convinced than ever now of a couple things:

1) single parenting is very difficult

3) God is very wise in His design for marriage and family.

(No, there is not a typo above... It's simply a representation of my frazzled-ness and a tribute to every female that feels or has felt frazzled with me!)

So what do I mean by 'frazzled'? I'm not really talking about the daily grind. Dressing the girls, cooking, cleaning, picking up toys, facilitating nap times, homeschooling, other household duties, etc... What I AM talking about is the interactions. The way my kids respond to me changes when their daddy is not home. I have to wonder why this is- if my husband and I are parenting with the same heart, the same goals, and like-mindedness, shouldn't our girls respond to me just as they do when he is in the room? And yet, I find this not to be the case.

So I find myself feeling frazzled and overwhelmed at times. A bit helpless. 

But you know what? I 'hear' the Lord asking me, "So who are you looking toward to raise your children? Are you looking to your husband? (Or to your own strength and abilities?) Or are you looking to Me?" 

There will be so many times in PNG when Noe will be out doing various things, especially if/when he spends time building our house. Or if he goes on survey trips. Or if he goes out with other men on hunting trips or whatnot. I can learn now how to be better prepared for this. Will I let Him meet me and teach me in my moments of feeling frazzled and overwhelmed? Or will I let those moments swallow me?

So in closing:
7) In my own strength I am only as good as "super-me!" (bahaha!) But in the strength of my faithful God, we can not only survive but we can do well together!

 ...and a bit of flexibility and random-ness never hurt either ;)