Cinderella Was a Liar

She knows it too. Just look at her face.
"These are unreasonable expectations!"
(here, a free coloring page for your kids)

Ok wait, before you throw out your hate speech, Cinderella has been my favorite Disney princess for many years.

But seriously... she was a liar.

It just simply is not possible to carry a loaded breakfast tray in each hand AND one on your head AND glide gracefully up a marble staircase in dress shoes. I'VE TRIED IT. And it just doesn't work. I am simply not enough to accomplish that feat.

To anyone who, like me, has applied the Cinderella analogy to their own life (i.e. "That's me! I'm Cinderella!"), it simply is unreasonable to put that much expectation on one 'normal', hormonal woman and count on it all being done so amazingly. So I call her bluff.






When I left the USA with my husband and kids to be a tribal church planter, I'm pretty sure that I had the expectation that I could not only 'do it all', but do it all AWESOMELY.

(Don't misunderstand- I'm not talking about "Spiritual Giant-hood" here. I am NO spiritual giant. I have a long way to go in becoming Christ-like, and like you, I have good days and bad days.)

But I thought that 'doing it all awesomely' was me simultaneously and daily being:

• a super wife
• a gentle, totally loving mama
• keeping my house spotless
• never again over-cooking chicken (this is my nemesis, folks. I need help.)
• being a wonderful friend
• putting in several hours of CLA each day
• doing extra homeschool activities (outside of the basic curriculum) (sorry girls. Someday when you read this, believe me that I'm genuinely sorry that I hate crafts. Isn't being an Unpinterest Mom a thing yet?)
• being out in the village every single day

As the months rolled by, I became increasingly overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and even guilty about what I had or hadn't accomplished in a day. 

Finally, as I felt myself breaking down emotionally, I brought it again before the Lord (yes, I had been bringing it before Him already) and asked Him, "But what if I can't be all that? Would my offering still be enough?" (i.e. ... if "all" I have to offer in a day is taking care of my house? Or "just" being a mom even though I'm here in the village? Or only having 30 minutes to work on CLA some days? Would that be enough?) 

Well, as I was pouring out my heart before Him, before I had even finished my question, the story from Scripture of the widow who offered the two mites as her offering came to my mind. Jesus told His disciples that this woman gave more than the others, for she had given all she had.

I believe the Lord was beyond gracious with me in that moment. In my heart, I immediately felt like He had given me an immediate answer, similar to the way that a young child begins to express a fear, but the loving parent understands the question before it's even been fully asked, and immediately embraces the child and says, "No, no, don't you even worry about that!" 

The second thing that came into my mind, immediately after the story of the widow giving her two mites, was His purpose for providing Eve as the wife for Adam. God created her and gave her the specific role and privilege of being Adam's "suitable helper". He made her perfectly for that task. And not only this, but in Ephesians, Paul reminds us that our marriages are really a picture of our relationship as believers with Jesus Christ, our bridegroom. So how could there be shame or guilt in taking the time to fulfill that role whole-heartedly? And not only being a wife, but being a mother to the children He has entrusted to us.

So is it enough, for the missionary wife and mom, to not on a daily basis attempt to offer everything on that (ridiculous) list above? Ok sure, some days I definitely have super-charged days and accomplish a ton off of that list really well! But the reality is that most days, I'm having a good day if I do one of them well. But I believe what He showed me from Scripture is that doing that one thing well is beautiful to Him. Plus, this is a lesson I'm trying so hard to teach my darling daughters, one of whom is becoming a "Tween" (LORD HELP!)... "Whatever you do, do it whole-heartedly, as if doing it for the Lord and not for men." If I don't believe it myself, it'll be much harder for me to teach it to my girls.

This does not mean He doesn't want me to learn and grow and excel at things. Not at all. And it doesn't mean I shouldn't work hard. There is urgency in the Gospel! And it's important as we raise our kids that they see us willing to work hard and make sacrifices because Christ alone is worth living and dying for. Also, it doesn't serve as some excuse to hole up in my house for days and weeks on end and never set foot into the village. Rather, it is my opportunity to MODEL what is so beautifully laid out for the woman after His own heart in Titus 2... Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, exhorts the older women (older in age or in spiritual maturity or sometimes both) to teach the younger women: 

to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God.

And yes, sometimes that means that I don't leave the house today. Sometimes it means I have only a few minutes to learn language. On the flipside, sometimes it means that we don't do a piano lesson because we need to spend some time in the village. But in each activity I do or don't do in a day, it's an opportunity to model the life lived in Christ. It's an opportunity to model doing each thing well, beautifully, and to do it as unto the Lord. I don't always do that well, but I believe that is the goal: to grow in these things, both to become more and more like Christ, and to model His love and grace to others.

So as for Cinderella... what a bunch of hogwash. Those are unrealistic expectations, guys. But I guess it wasn't a true story anyway.