Let It Go

Yes first of all, a little "Let It Go" humor...
DISCLAIMER: for those of you who are not in this same predicament (i.e. having kids who are part of the "Frozen Chozen"), I hope you'll ... sympathize anyway. ;)




I'd be lying if I said this whole "Let It Go" phrase hasn't been timely for me. However, for me it carries a very different meaning.

Over the last 5 years, as we have trained and prepared for cross-cultural ministry as church planters, the Lord has given me so many opportunities to confront 'everything' that matters to me. He's given me the challenge to "let it go". Some areas are easier than others.

Come to think of it, when I first heard back in high school about people groups in the world who had never heard the Gospel, I had the chance to "ignore" what I'd learned, or to become a part of it. I had the opportunity in that moment to look at my life as a whole and 'let it go'- surrender it to His leading and guiding in my life.

But not only has He 'challenged' my life as a whole, but He has been loving enough to dig into the different pieces of my life. And in essence, He's asked me to consider: "Am I willing to let it go?"
Some of these areas:
-Possessions
-My idea/ideals of a comfortable life
-Normalcy (okay, this would be open to interpretation of course...)
-My life (willing to die?)
-My friends and family ("back home")
-My husband
-My children

Some of these have been easier for me to consider than others. One of the questions that naturally comes up for me after the last two is this: "Would I be able to go on?" I think that sometimes He lovingly gives us the chance to consider these last two in particular-- not so that we can become morbid or devastated by the thought. But so that we can better understand who HE is and who HE always will be. So we can grasp more firmly to His hand with a clearer understanding of our precious and solid identity in Him (our life is hidden in Christ!).

My children.
The question I am asked personally the most often now is "What fears do you have about going to the jungles of PNG?" And many of you have heard the answer- 'being hours from medical assistance.' Of course you realize what I am really saying is that my fear is to lose my child.

I can hear the voice of the world saying (if that were to happen): "Why were you so foolish to take your children to such a place of danger?"

But a stronger voice yells back quickly: "There was no foolishness in taking our children along with us in obedience to Christ's mandate- we took them out of a place of great danger into a different place of great danger." But think, Child of God! The only real place of danger is being apart from Christ.

My children could become ill and die of malaria in PNG.

My children could become ill and die of the flu in the USA.

We could die in a plane crash in PNG.

We could die in a plane crash in the USA.

My husband could go out to another village in PNG and not return.

My husband could go out to work in the USA and not return.

A natural disaster could take our lives in PNG.

A natural disaster could take our lives in the USA.

My children could become lonely in PNG.

My children could become lonely in the USA.

I will be desperate for the Lord's grace in PNG.

I will be desperate for the Lord's grace in the USA.

So what is the difference? Really? The REAL difference? ("In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart! For I (Jesus) have overcome the world!")

We go to PNG because there are over 830 distinct language groups, over half of which have never heard the Gospel in their own language. Therefore there are no believers/no church in their own language. Therefore there is no Bible in their own language- oral or written! Christ's mandate was clear- to make disciples of ALL nations/ethnos (languages). What He has also made clear in His Word is that we are entirely His! Being that we are all His and that our lives are hidden in Him-- our lives belong not to us but to Him. We live not just for Him, but we live IN Him. We live and move and breathe and have our being IN HIM (!). How then can we not be a part of all that He is and all that He is about?  THIS is the real difference for us. 

*Is Jesus worth letting go of EVERYTHING for?

We let it go, we let it ALL go- every area of our lives. Not because He says to let it go/lose it and we will die. That would be 'logic'. On the contrary, He says lose our life and we will FIND it!

Are we each being a part of all that He is? What part is He asking YOU to play? How is He asking you to make disciples of your children and the believers around you? Are you young and on your own? What part is He asking YOU to play- is He showing you the vastness of the stars in the sky and asking you to step out in faith as He did Abraham? 

Let it go, child of God! And find yourself fully alive in Christ and in His purpose. He IS worth it. :) No radio smashing either... ;)

I'm an Environmentalist

As much as I've tried to deny it, I've realized that I am indeed an environmentalist. I care SO deeply about my environment. In fact, an unfortunate truth about me is that when my environment is not just right, I am tempted to be discontent.

If I am too hot, my spirit wants to grumble about the heat.

If I am too cold, my spirit wants to grumble about the chill.

If my house is out of control, my spirit wants to grumble about my chaos.

If I can't find 'the perfect place' to sit and read my Bible and sip my coffee in the morning, my spirit wants to skip the whole thing.

If the people around me are not what I wish they'd be in that moment, my spirit wants to be what I should not be in that moment.

It is incredibly tempting to let anything and everything around me control my mood, my emotions, my thoughts, my life.

Several months ago, I had envisioned a perfect weekend. In my mind, I had figured out how it would look and what would take place. Oh yes, I allowed wiggle room, knowing that it wouldn't look quite that way. But I figured it would be close, because what on earth could come in the way of it?! WRONG!! The weekend quickly fell apart, hour by hour, day by day. Throughout the weekend, I lost inner strength and found myself crying out to the Lord, asking what was going on. He directed my heart to many things in His Word, but I 'sensed' this question most of all:

"When are you going to stop letting your circumstances define your days?"

Over and over this question has pressed upon my heart. It is easy to let my circumstances determine my thoughts, feelings, and behavior. 

The life we are stepping into in the next few months will be beyond filled with twists, turns, challenges, and unexpected circumstances. The Lord is giving me ample opportunity to learn to let HIM define my days rather than these circumstances. I'm not saying I'll "arrive". But will I learn more and more to fall into Him instead of fall to pieces when things change? May it be so! And may I learn to walk confidently and joyfully in Christ whether or not "my environment" is just how I desire it...

I Am Yours, You Are Mine

One of Naya's favorite songs right now is "Oceans" by Hillsong.


A line that repeats at the end of each chorus is the basis on which we can stand confident in our God in spite of the turmoils that can and definitely do come about in life-

"...for I am Yours, and You are mine."

What a fantastic foundational truth to cling to. The song speaks to me a lot as we prepare to literally cross the ocean and step into 'new waters', 'the great unknown', "wherever You would call me". It reminds me that despite the mystery of it all (and how utterly crazy it is do be doing this?!), that this "relocating" is in actuality VERY INSIGNIFICANT! Why?

For I am His, and He is mine!

This core purpose of living and breathing is what is significant. Jesus said "I will build my church." He asks us to be obedient to His command to go and make disciples of all nations. So we are going to nations that have yet to hear, believe, and become disciples! But as we do that, we remember that we are only walking in obedience to Him, for it is not US building His church, but HE Himself who builds it!

Furthermore, any effort I/we put into this is FUTILE if we are not "His". (No, I'm not saying we can lose our salvation. I don't believe that.) His greatest purpose for me as His child is that I will become conformed to the image of Christ! Yes He wants me to "do", but never at the expense of "being". He wants me to be His completely. He bought me. He loves me. He owns me. And He adores me.

As I was doing homeschool with the girls this afternoon, I turned on that song (Oceans) for Naya as she finished up her math worksheet (oh sure, she must be becoming a multi-tasker like her mother hehe!). And as I sat there proud of her and adoring her, I heard that line over and over,

"For I am Yours, and You are mine."

And for a moment I thought, "And you, Naya, are mine!" ... "And I am yours." She is mine- she belongs to me. Meaning, the Lord has given her (and her sister) to me for this short life- to love, to care for,-- and above all to teach her who He is, why she is in desperate need of Him, what He has done for her, and that she can be His daughter! But not only is she mine, but I am hers. As a mother I have that opportunity to offer all of myself to her. Why? For the purpose above- to demonstrate for her who HE is. Our Source, our Giver of Love.

My husband and I are THRILLED to have such a platform (tribal church planting) from which to walk this life with Him with our daughters!! They will see happy times, they will see troubles- but above it all they will see HIM. How? If we show and teach them. This truthful concept is true anywhere. In the city, in the suburbs, in the desert, in the jungle. It's true whether we send our children to public/private school or homeschool them. The responsibility is always OURS, as parents. The details are just that- details. He calls us to be obedient to Him out of our LOVE for Him. And in this obedience to His heart of love, we mustn't get caught up in our 'doing', but we MUST be caught up in being His!

Oceans ~ Hillsong United