Boxes

For the last five years, BOXES have been our best friend. We have moved from Oregon to Washington, Washington to Michigan, Michigan to Missouri, and most recently from Missouri to Seattle.

All of our belongings are in BOXES. (Or, as Brian Regan would say, "Boxen".) So what do I do with all of our 'boxen'? I packed them so carefully, considering what was worth bringing back to Seattle and what was liberating to give away. But after our 213th (not really) road trip across the country, it was enough for us just to unload the boxes into our parents' houses, where I'm sure they are enjoying their now home decor. (Hey, pallets are in according to Pinterest, aren't they? What's the problem?!)

I have hardly been able to look at the boxes for multiple reasons.

1. We grew close to a family in Missouri which make my heart not want to even look at the boxes- perhaps my heart hopes that I'll wake up from a dream and be sitting in their home again sipping coffee... if only I don't touch the boxes!
2. It is so much work! (no explanation necessary)
3. It feels rather unimportant. That's probably just my selfishness.
4. Most importantly, I simply DON'T KNOW what to do with our stuff! 

In 13 months, we hope to be on a plane, on our way to PNG. But HOW do I process all of our belongings- what to take with us to PNG, what to distribute to family/friends, what to sell, what to give away, and what we need during this year.

This simple phrase (I DON'T KNOW) is the story of my life right now.

It is difficult to live in I-don't-know-ville. But I do know that He has a plan, and He has my heart. I desire to walk this road day by day. But I also know that things (big things, like ordering a refrigerator and solar panels and a couple years of homeschool curriculum and supplies I can't get in PNG and packing a crate of our stuff that we won't open for a couple years and ... and... and...) DO need to get done.

Lord, You have my heart. And I will search for Yours. Jesus, take my life and lead me on.