"It's Just life"

Today my husband flew to Papua New Guinea!

He'll be there for about a month, traveling around visiting different regions and seeing works in progress and meeting all sorts of 'co-laborers' in this incredible task that lies before us.

In some ways it feels like a really big deal that he is in PNG! In a way, this is the first step toward when we move there in just 1 year. (!) Moving to PNG feels frightening sometimes... it will be completely different than anything we've known here in the USA. The climate, the way of life, the people, the food, the friends... culture shock! As much as we can try and prepare ourselves for it, it is one of those things in life that we just CAN not and WILL not understand until we are in the midst of it.

At the same time, as I looked in the mirror yesterday feeling a bit anxious about this huge transition that lies ahead of us, I had a very different thought: "It's just life!" I told myself. After all, the person that I am will not change, no matter what side of the ocean I am living on. The woman He has designed me to be will be the same. My joys and my struggles will carry on when I live there. On a practical side, I will live under a roof with 4 walls. I will cook. I will clean. I will homeschool my children. I will visit neighbors. I will send and receive mail (hopefully... sometimes... ). I will miss people. I will kill spiders (yes I will.). I will spend time with the Lord. I will laugh. I will cry. I will drink lots of coffee.

Many things will be the same, just surrounded by a different set of outward circumstances.

Of course, our goal for living there will be very purposeful. And that will not be the same. At all. But in the background, my life may actually look somewhat similar to how it does here in the states. (It just may take a lot longer to accomplish simple tasks!) (Ok, and maybe there won't be a grocery store nearby or a doctor...)

But I can sleep well as I anticipate it all, because Jesus INCLUDED in His Great Commission- "I am with you always, even to the end of the age." He 'tacked that on there' with such great wisdom and care. He knew I would be tempted to ask Him that very question- "If I go, will You be with me?"

"Child, you don't even have to ask."

Boxes

For the last five years, BOXES have been our best friend. We have moved from Oregon to Washington, Washington to Michigan, Michigan to Missouri, and most recently from Missouri to Seattle.

All of our belongings are in BOXES. (Or, as Brian Regan would say, "Boxen".) So what do I do with all of our 'boxen'? I packed them so carefully, considering what was worth bringing back to Seattle and what was liberating to give away. But after our 213th (not really) road trip across the country, it was enough for us just to unload the boxes into our parents' houses, where I'm sure they are enjoying their now home decor. (Hey, pallets are in according to Pinterest, aren't they? What's the problem?!)

I have hardly been able to look at the boxes for multiple reasons.

1. We grew close to a family in Missouri which make my heart not want to even look at the boxes- perhaps my heart hopes that I'll wake up from a dream and be sitting in their home again sipping coffee... if only I don't touch the boxes!
2. It is so much work! (no explanation necessary)
3. It feels rather unimportant. That's probably just my selfishness.
4. Most importantly, I simply DON'T KNOW what to do with our stuff! 

In 13 months, we hope to be on a plane, on our way to PNG. But HOW do I process all of our belongings- what to take with us to PNG, what to distribute to family/friends, what to sell, what to give away, and what we need during this year.

This simple phrase (I DON'T KNOW) is the story of my life right now.

It is difficult to live in I-don't-know-ville. But I do know that He has a plan, and He has my heart. I desire to walk this road day by day. But I also know that things (big things, like ordering a refrigerator and solar panels and a couple years of homeschool curriculum and supplies I can't get in PNG and packing a crate of our stuff that we won't open for a couple years and ... and... and...) DO need to get done.

Lord, You have my heart. And I will search for Yours. Jesus, take my life and lead me on.