Let It Go

Yes first of all, a little "Let It Go" humor...
DISCLAIMER: for those of you who are not in this same predicament (i.e. having kids who are part of the "Frozen Chozen"), I hope you'll ... sympathize anyway. ;)




I'd be lying if I said this whole "Let It Go" phrase hasn't been timely for me. However, for me it carries a very different meaning.

Over the last 5 years, as we have trained and prepared for cross-cultural ministry as church planters, the Lord has given me so many opportunities to confront 'everything' that matters to me. He's given me the challenge to "let it go". Some areas are easier than others.

Come to think of it, when I first heard back in high school about people groups in the world who had never heard the Gospel, I had the chance to "ignore" what I'd learned, or to become a part of it. I had the opportunity in that moment to look at my life as a whole and 'let it go'- surrender it to His leading and guiding in my life.

But not only has He 'challenged' my life as a whole, but He has been loving enough to dig into the different pieces of my life. And in essence, He's asked me to consider: "Am I willing to let it go?"
Some of these areas:
-Possessions
-My idea/ideals of a comfortable life
-Normalcy (okay, this would be open to interpretation of course...)
-My life (willing to die?)
-My friends and family ("back home")
-My husband
-My children

Some of these have been easier for me to consider than others. One of the questions that naturally comes up for me after the last two is this: "Would I be able to go on?" I think that sometimes He lovingly gives us the chance to consider these last two in particular-- not so that we can become morbid or devastated by the thought. But so that we can better understand who HE is and who HE always will be. So we can grasp more firmly to His hand with a clearer understanding of our precious and solid identity in Him (our life is hidden in Christ!).

My children.
The question I am asked personally the most often now is "What fears do you have about going to the jungles of PNG?" And many of you have heard the answer- 'being hours from medical assistance.' Of course you realize what I am really saying is that my fear is to lose my child.

I can hear the voice of the world saying (if that were to happen): "Why were you so foolish to take your children to such a place of danger?"

But a stronger voice yells back quickly: "There was no foolishness in taking our children along with us in obedience to Christ's mandate- we took them out of a place of great danger into a different place of great danger." But think, Child of God! The only real place of danger is being apart from Christ.

My children could become ill and die of malaria in PNG.

My children could become ill and die of the flu in the USA.

We could die in a plane crash in PNG.

We could die in a plane crash in the USA.

My husband could go out to another village in PNG and not return.

My husband could go out to work in the USA and not return.

A natural disaster could take our lives in PNG.

A natural disaster could take our lives in the USA.

My children could become lonely in PNG.

My children could become lonely in the USA.

I will be desperate for the Lord's grace in PNG.

I will be desperate for the Lord's grace in the USA.

So what is the difference? Really? The REAL difference? ("In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart! For I (Jesus) have overcome the world!")

We go to PNG because there are over 830 distinct language groups, over half of which have never heard the Gospel in their own language. Therefore there are no believers/no church in their own language. Therefore there is no Bible in their own language- oral or written! Christ's mandate was clear- to make disciples of ALL nations/ethnos (languages). What He has also made clear in His Word is that we are entirely His! Being that we are all His and that our lives are hidden in Him-- our lives belong not to us but to Him. We live not just for Him, but we live IN Him. We live and move and breathe and have our being IN HIM (!). How then can we not be a part of all that He is and all that He is about?  THIS is the real difference for us. 

*Is Jesus worth letting go of EVERYTHING for?

We let it go, we let it ALL go- every area of our lives. Not because He says to let it go/lose it and we will die. That would be 'logic'. On the contrary, He says lose our life and we will FIND it!

Are we each being a part of all that He is? What part is He asking YOU to play? How is He asking you to make disciples of your children and the believers around you? Are you young and on your own? What part is He asking YOU to play- is He showing you the vastness of the stars in the sky and asking you to step out in faith as He did Abraham? 

Let it go, child of God! And find yourself fully alive in Christ and in His purpose. He IS worth it. :) No radio smashing either... ;)

I'm an Environmentalist

As much as I've tried to deny it, I've realized that I am indeed an environmentalist. I care SO deeply about my environment. In fact, an unfortunate truth about me is that when my environment is not just right, I am tempted to be discontent.

If I am too hot, my spirit wants to grumble about the heat.

If I am too cold, my spirit wants to grumble about the chill.

If my house is out of control, my spirit wants to grumble about my chaos.

If I can't find 'the perfect place' to sit and read my Bible and sip my coffee in the morning, my spirit wants to skip the whole thing.

If the people around me are not what I wish they'd be in that moment, my spirit wants to be what I should not be in that moment.

It is incredibly tempting to let anything and everything around me control my mood, my emotions, my thoughts, my life.

Several months ago, I had envisioned a perfect weekend. In my mind, I had figured out how it would look and what would take place. Oh yes, I allowed wiggle room, knowing that it wouldn't look quite that way. But I figured it would be close, because what on earth could come in the way of it?! WRONG!! The weekend quickly fell apart, hour by hour, day by day. Throughout the weekend, I lost inner strength and found myself crying out to the Lord, asking what was going on. He directed my heart to many things in His Word, but I 'sensed' this question most of all:

"When are you going to stop letting your circumstances define your days?"

Over and over this question has pressed upon my heart. It is easy to let my circumstances determine my thoughts, feelings, and behavior. 

The life we are stepping into in the next few months will be beyond filled with twists, turns, challenges, and unexpected circumstances. The Lord is giving me ample opportunity to learn to let HIM define my days rather than these circumstances. I'm not saying I'll "arrive". But will I learn more and more to fall into Him instead of fall to pieces when things change? May it be so! And may I learn to walk confidently and joyfully in Christ whether or not "my environment" is just how I desire it...

I Am Yours, You Are Mine

One of Naya's favorite songs right now is "Oceans" by Hillsong.


A line that repeats at the end of each chorus is the basis on which we can stand confident in our God in spite of the turmoils that can and definitely do come about in life-

"...for I am Yours, and You are mine."

What a fantastic foundational truth to cling to. The song speaks to me a lot as we prepare to literally cross the ocean and step into 'new waters', 'the great unknown', "wherever You would call me". It reminds me that despite the mystery of it all (and how utterly crazy it is do be doing this?!), that this "relocating" is in actuality VERY INSIGNIFICANT! Why?

For I am His, and He is mine!

This core purpose of living and breathing is what is significant. Jesus said "I will build my church." He asks us to be obedient to His command to go and make disciples of all nations. So we are going to nations that have yet to hear, believe, and become disciples! But as we do that, we remember that we are only walking in obedience to Him, for it is not US building His church, but HE Himself who builds it!

Furthermore, any effort I/we put into this is FUTILE if we are not "His". (No, I'm not saying we can lose our salvation. I don't believe that.) His greatest purpose for me as His child is that I will become conformed to the image of Christ! Yes He wants me to "do", but never at the expense of "being". He wants me to be His completely. He bought me. He loves me. He owns me. And He adores me.

As I was doing homeschool with the girls this afternoon, I turned on that song (Oceans) for Naya as she finished up her math worksheet (oh sure, she must be becoming a multi-tasker like her mother hehe!). And as I sat there proud of her and adoring her, I heard that line over and over,

"For I am Yours, and You are mine."

And for a moment I thought, "And you, Naya, are mine!" ... "And I am yours." She is mine- she belongs to me. Meaning, the Lord has given her (and her sister) to me for this short life- to love, to care for,-- and above all to teach her who He is, why she is in desperate need of Him, what He has done for her, and that she can be His daughter! But not only is she mine, but I am hers. As a mother I have that opportunity to offer all of myself to her. Why? For the purpose above- to demonstrate for her who HE is. Our Source, our Giver of Love.

My husband and I are THRILLED to have such a platform (tribal church planting) from which to walk this life with Him with our daughters!! They will see happy times, they will see troubles- but above it all they will see HIM. How? If we show and teach them. This truthful concept is true anywhere. In the city, in the suburbs, in the desert, in the jungle. It's true whether we send our children to public/private school or homeschool them. The responsibility is always OURS, as parents. The details are just that- details. He calls us to be obedient to Him out of our LOVE for Him. And in this obedience to His heart of love, we mustn't get caught up in our 'doing', but we MUST be caught up in being His!

Oceans ~ Hillsong United

Lists

Can I hire an assistant?

Can a missionary have an assistant?

Yes, quite honestly, I'm feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do in these next few months.

Alright- that's ALL there is to this blog post. No beating around the bush.

Shoot me an email or call/text me if you would be willing to help me put together some of the lists of things I need to get done, and hold me accountable to them, and help me accomplish them!

Lists include:

-What do I need in my kitchen?
-What do I need for my kiddos?
-Educational, craft, and entertainment supplies?
-What do I need for our tribal home?
-What loose ends do we need to tie up here in the USA?
-Relational things I should not forget before we head out.
-Clothes
-Sorting through our remaining belongings
-(ETC...)

*Note- if you can't help with a list, but you'd like to help me breathe by sharing a cup of coffee, it's highly probable that I will respond to that postively as well....  .... just saying.

**More important note... Words of encouragement from Scripture are just as helpful as coffee. (And maybe even more-so!! Ok, let that smile out, it was meant to cause a chuckle.) I find myself daily listening to Matt Maher's "Lord, I Need You." I hope the truthful words are an encouragement to you today as they are to me daily.

"Lord, I Need You" ~ Matt Maher

Digital Cooking!

Wouldn't that be something, to open a recipe on your iPad and press "Go!" and sit down with a hot cup of tea while dinner just makes itself?

Yeah, pretty unrealistic.

So is lugging many pounds of heavy cookbooks (most of which I cook 1 or 2 recipes out of... am I the only one?) overseas.

I'm very thankful for these newfangled tools, also known as "APPS", such as this one below, that allow me to import recipes from websites, from cookbooks, from recipe cards, .... and from my brain (ok yeah, the last one is a joke, because those who know me are fully aware that I have no recipes in my brain. I can cook really well, but not without a detailed recipe!).

Because of this, I will be able to have every recipe I ever use at my fingertips. Plus the iPad can be right there in the kitchen with me! ("But what if it dies?!?!", you might ask. Never fear! ... My family would learn to enjoy rice. Lots of rice. Hehe)

Here is an example of how this App, "RecipeBook" works (it's SO easy!).






Ok, friends... now it's YOUR turn to help ME! Please comment below with your FAVORITE recipe! It can be a link to the recipe online (which I can easily import, as you saw above), the entire recipe typed out, or you can also email me with the recipe.

Losing Earrings and Such...

It was a sad moment. I heard the earring hit the railing, and knew instantly it was gone. I looked down from the high balcony and watched it float gracefully down into the still water below and create a tiny ripple. As it fell, I chose to laugh. Why not. :) There was nothing I could do to change the situation anyway.

Feeling creative, I considered that perhaps a bird or fish might ingest it, choke on it, and end up floating dead in the marina. Passengers are prohibited from discarding things overboard, so I thought maybe the cruise line would be sued by an animal rights activist... and in the midst of it, I'd submit a request to see if my earring had been discovered in the dead animal's carcass...?

Anyway, other things were lost on a recent vacation, some of which were found.

But it sure causes me to weigh the value I place on my belongings. My value of things in regard to other people. My value of things in regard to my purpose in life. My value of earthly things in regard to eternal things. My responses and reactions reveal to me much of what is in my heart.

My heart fluctuates on a daily basis when it comes to this topic. Does yours? On good days, it is easy for me to get rid of things as we prepare for PNG. On not-so-good days, I want to take more things overseas, or store things, or simply feel selfish about them.

I feel anxious for winter to turn to spring- I feel that the change of weather will allow me to clear out so much of our 'stuff' that we won't use again or see again. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying each day with these things. I believe this is Paul's point when he wrote "use the things of the world, but as if not engrossed in them." He didn't indicate that we should practice asceticism (denying ourselves of things to "be lowly" or to punish ourselves). He implied that we should use them, but with an open hand. Ready to let them go at any moment! Enjoy them fully! But be ready in your heart to toss them aside without a second thought. :)

So for the most part, I am enjoying this season of purging of our belongings, and I feel very ready in that respect for what lies ahead.

Love and Good Deeds

I know a woman whose day(s) looks something like this:

She wakes up early, makes coffee for herself and her husband (which she drinks alone after he has gone to work), makes breakfast for her children, cleans up breakfast, takes the dog out, cleans the house, dresses the children, does homeschool, makes lunch, cleans up lunch, cleans the house, fixes and repairs the house, maintains the yard, prepares dinner, cleans up dinner, cleans the house (yet again), gets her children ready for bed, puts them to bed, and spends time with her husband before going to bed- to get up and do it all over again. 

Oh- and she squeezes in many other things- going grocery shopping, running errands, taking in the car for repair or maintenance, taking out the trash, going to the post office, paying the bills, visiting their parents, visiting friends, entertaining planned or last-minute visitors, hosting people in their home, preparing food for social events regularly, exercising, showing hospitality to those who are sick or alone, taking herself and her kids to the doctor (planned or unplanned), and staying in touch with her friends.

On top of all this she loves the Lord, and it is clear that she wants nothing else but to serve Him faithfully each day by showing His kind of love to those she comes in contact with.



This inspires me. Well ok, first of all it EXHAUSTS me just reading about it! But honestly, as I go about my day grumbling about this and that, the testimony above convicts me and causes me to ask

"To what end am I going about my day? Am I in this (life) to please myself?"

You see, one of my problems is that I have a husband who is SO willing to help- he has always been wired this way, ever since he was young. His father stepped out of their home, and so my husband and his siblings stepped up (like it or not) into roles of responsibility at a young age. And they saw the fruits of it! It was not just work, it was loving on your loved ones! He has brought that into our marriage. 

Wait, WHY is that a problem?! :) Well, the problem is of course in my heart. Because he has been so inclined to help when I ask him to, it has created in me the temptation to EXPECT him to do certain things around the house. This expectation has fostered a discontent spirit when he does not do those things. This of course is not his problem. It is mine. (Well and my other problem is that I'm somewhat useless- I don't know how to do much by way of fixing things. Or keeping plants alive. My children I've managed to keep alive so far though... hehe)

The testimony of the woman above inspires me to fight against this wrong expectation and be pleased with the duty the Lord has given me graciously. Yes, graciously! I wanted to be a wife, and He allowed me to be a wife! :) I wanted to be a mother, and He allowed me to be a mother! :) Sometimes I've wondered in the midst of this, "So what is my role?" Well.... to be a wife and a mother. It just isn't more complicated than that. So what am I fighting against?! 

My greatest joy should be loving on those whom I love. The evil one would see me discontent. He would remind me how much the garbage stinks, and how perpetually the dishes are dirty, and how often the floor gets dirty, and how great the food is that I don't have in my kitchen... etc.

The woman above is not perfect. In fact she would be the first to say what a grumbler she can be. (She's probably grumbling that I wrote this too...) (Sorry...) (Not really...) But all of us, His Daughters (!), are facing these same issues: the monotony of our work in the home, and the struggle within our hearts as we strive after His heart. This is true whether we are in the suburbs, or in the city, or in the jungle!. Let us encourage one another with love and good deeds, as He says in His Word!